Training like Hunter S. Thompson

I’m training, but not with any specific goal – and that’s probably an ass-backward way to go about it.  People keep asking if I’m training for a full, and I keep saying I’m not committed yet. And that’s the truth: I’m still loose on the streets and the men with white jackets and nets haven’t yet scooped me up.

So I’m still training until they do.

Right now I’m concentrating on endurance, and I’m pleased to report it’s going extremely well. Last weekend I ran two hours, completing my three mile course in record time! It’s given me the confidence to add another half-mile this week, bringing my week’s total to…three-and-a-half miles.

But that’s not all. I’ve incorporated strength training into my weekly workouts. My friend Kaitlyn sent me this killer glute-buster.

It’s nasty and every time I break into a sweat. So far I’ve watched it three times. I’m getting ready to try it pretty soon.

In the same vein, after reading about all the benefits of going gluten-free, I eliminated all grains and so on from my diet. To date, I haven’t noticed any appreciable change in my glutes though.

Maybe I’m still eating the wrong stuff.

I’m trying very hard to eat properly. I even went so far as to buy a container of coconut water. This is one of the new super-foods, like quinoa, blueberries, and small batch bourbon.

As with the glute-buster video, I’ve looked at that container of coconut water…a lot. In fact, I’ve stared at it really hard. Really hard. For long periods of time.

Well, okay, for brief seconds, until I grab my specially formulated recovery beer.

I’m training like Hunter S. Thompson.

Don’t laugh. For all his purported drug-addled, alcohol-induced. keyboard blatherings, Thompson worked hard and kept in shape. How else could he have jammed out all those late night essays, investigative reports and more?

I just may patent the Hunter S. Thompson training plan. Day one: Wake up. Squint at bright light, roll over, place pillow firmly over head and stay in position for approximately five hours. Followed by whiskey intervals, random shotgun firings and eggs over-easy.

I sense a best-seller.

Now I know many of you think I’m frivolous and that I don’t take this running culture, workout stuff seriously. That’s just not true.

Who kicked ass this week on Google Olympics?

Huh? Huh?

That’s right.

I did.

Gold in hurdles. Gold in basketball. Bronze in the kayak slalom.

I’m better than Canada! How great is that?

Google soccer didn’t work out so well for me. Because I’m Canadian, the Norwegian ref declared all my kicks invalid.

I’m still waiting for Google marathon: you sit at your computer wiggling the up/down, forward/backward arrows for three hours.

And after the event, there’s not even a massage tent for your fingers.

Seriously, here it is August and I’m still on the fence about what I’m going to do. I’ve been dabbling – and that is the operative word – in trail running on my easy days and keep thinking about that. But at the back of my mind is the fact that this fall will mark two years since I ran a marathon – and I’m not getting any younger.

Perhaps it’s a couple of hard half-marathons, some longer trail runs (as an experiment) and  then beginning to focus on Boston in the spring.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. It’s all running of one type or another and whether it’s flying over the road or negotiating the mossy rock gardens of the woods, the singular experience of every run is what remains.


About subthree

A multiple award-winning journalist, I'm currently a contributing editor with both Canadian Running and Canadian Cycling magazines. My articles have appeared in Explore, Canadian Geographic, enRoute, The National Post, The Globe and Mail, and many other magazines and newspapers. Formerly a competitive cross-country mountain biker, I switched to running in 2006. I've run seven marathons, qualifying for Boston five times (and which I've run once). Generally, I've placed or won in my age group in races, in distances ranging from five and 10 kms to half and full marathons. I've also taught spin classes at a number of leading Eastern Canadian gyms. Sub-three was a 2012 #Runchat finalist for Best Overall Blog.
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10 Responses to Training like Hunter S. Thompson

  1. kgrace7 says:

    Last time I try to help you out when you complain about your runs.

  2. kgrace7 says:

    Olympian ogler. If only.

    • subthree says:

      Ogler?! I’ll tell you, four years of very stringent training has gone into these fingers in preparation for the greatest games ever – and it’s paying off. Two golds, one bronze. Can hardly wait for tomorrow’s event.

  3. Trevor M. says:

    Perhaps you are a gonzo runner, secretly hoping to run your next 10k in a Panama hat.

  4. That IS a fantastic idea. The world definitely needs more gonzo runners :). It is a weird kind of limbo, training without a specific goal (currently doing the same). Re. coconut water – I’d recommend continuing to look, but not touch!

    • subthree says:

      Ha. You probably shouldn’t encourage me. lol I’m going to try the coconut water. It comes highly recommended from a good friend and strong runner, and I’ve seen it cropping up in a lot of literature on recovery lately.

  5. irinasouiki says:

    That workout looks like a killer. My butt hurts just by looking at it and I’m in the most comfortable office chair I’ve ever had. I should give it a try one day.

    This entry made me laugh out loud, you are really funny. Alas I can’t even compare my Google Olympics medals with yours, I didn’t even know those doodles were interactive until yesterday. What have I missed?

    • subthree says:

      The friend who sent it to me swears by it – and she’s a strong runner. Glad you thought the entry funny; I’m my own worst judge when it comes to that. I believe so far Google’s only had the aforementioned doodle and, today, soccer. I haven’t had chance to try for the podium with the one yet.

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